Growing up in a working-class family in rural north Georgia, I spent a lot of time in the nearby lake and rivers during hot summers instead of going to the ocean beaches. I never learned to swim as a kid unfortunately because my Daddy, with good intentions, tried to teach me how to swim like he learned, by throwing me into the deep water. According to him all kids learned to swim quickly or at least learned to tread water, getting over their fear of deep water so they could then be taught how to swim. That didn’t work for me. I panicked and sunk like a rock, and Daddy had to jump in and pull me out. Like I said, he had good intentions, and that was the way he and all 11 of his brothers and sisters and my countless cousins were taught to swim. But for me, that frightening experience resulted in a fear of deep water and resistance to learning to swim.
It wasn’t until I was 20 years old and stationed in southern Italy with the Air Force that I first saw the ocean, and learned to tread water and swim in, of all places, the Adriatic Sea. My very patient barracks mate and close friend taught me how to swim, but first, I had to trust him to move beyond the wave break at the shoreline into the deep waters. I still remember the first time I trusted myself and my friend to move into the deep waters where I could ride the ocean swells. It was such an exhilarating and empowering feeling. And each time I’ve entered numerous seas and oceans around the world in my travels, I still feel the same exhilaration and empowerment when I move beyond the wave break and ride the ocean swells smoothly and use the waves to my advantage instead of fighting against them.
Once you wade or swim past the impact zone into deeper water, the waves stop crashing over your head. They become rolling swells.
This is bouncing forward. The waves (the memories, the history, the pain) haven't disappeared. The ocean is still moving. However, because you have moved to deeper, wiser, and more resilient emotional ground, the nature of the waves has changed. Instead of hitting you hard and crushing you, they now lift you up. You have the perspective and space to ride the swells, using the ocean's energy to propel yourself forward rather than being destroyed by it.
● What it means: You have cleared the wave break. The water beneath you is deep and supportive. The waves haven’t disappeared, but they are smooth, rolling swells now. You have the perspective and calm required to navigate on your own terms.
● Your Next Swim Step: You are ready for more Creativity & Curiosity. This is your post-traumatic growth phase. It is time to design your future, set high-level goals, and actively ride the momentum of the wisdom you earned in the storm and turbulent waves in the impact and transition zones.
The work you started in the wave transition zone for post traumatic growth and rebuilding your identity continues here, but it is in a place much easier to navigate emotionally and physically. The waves or challenges and constant change in life haven’t disappeared, but as I said above, they are smoother rolling ocean wave swells that you can ride more easily and use the power, direction and momentum to get to whatever destination you want for your life as you bounce forward from the trauma and significant change events at the shoreline. And from this point you can also see clearly the horizon and destinations ahead and focus on your journey and path instead of constantly reacting to the wave hits in the impact zone. You can also see where you may need your support network and resources, your lifeguards for next stages of the journey, and know when you can go alone and when calling upon your lifeguards may be needed. Your story continues to unfold, and you have reclaimed your agency to participate in writing the next chapter for your story, because as always, Your Story Matters.