Recently my husband and I went to the Delaware beaches of Rehoboth and Bethany Beach to spend time over the weekend with close friends at their coastal home. One day while at the beach, I was standing in the wave or surf break zone, also known as the impact zone, slowly entering the still chilly 62F degree water to cool off. I stopped in the wave break zone to get accustomed to the chilly water, but the strength of each new towering wave slammed hard into me, almost knocking me down into the sand. I struggled to retain my balance with each hard wave strike and the shifting sand beneath my feet. My husband had moved beyond the wave break into deeper waters, still able to touch the ground on the sandbar, but he was able to smoothly ride the incoming waves at that point instead of being slammed by them and thrown off balance. He encouraged me to move beyond the wave break into the deeper waters where the waves were easier to navigate and ride instead of fighting against them in the shallow waters of the wave break zone.
As I moved beyond the wave break zone, trusting myself and being aware of the surroundings to watch for any drop offs from the sandbar, avoiding any rip currents, and knowing that I could swim if needed, I found myself in deeper waters beyond the wave break that were much easier to manage and ride the large waves. My stress levels were lower, and I wasn’t being constantly hit by the crashing waves and thrown off balance. I could focus on enjoying the moment in the water at the beach and focus on where I wanted to go next. Later, as we left the ocean and I walked along the water edge, I reflected on how this metaphor of going beyond the wave break relates to life and career challenges I as well as my coaching clients face.
Often, we find ourselves stuck in the wave break or impact zone after a traumatic experience or change event. We tend to stay in the shallow impact zone, getting hit hard by the constantly breaking waves, thrown off balance, feeling the sand beneath our feet shifting, not having any time to think about anything else but simply surviving the next wave crash and maintaining our balance.
But if we trust ourselves and move beyond the wave break into deeper waters, whether wading slowly or swimming, we eventually move beyond the wave break into deeper waters. The waves don’t disappear here, but they changed and we can ride them more smoothly and calmly, giving us space to relax and look around and enjoy the moment as well as decide where we can go next.
Reflect on your own experiences at the beach with the wave break zone at the shore and moving beyond the wave break into calmer, more manageable deeper waters. What was that experience like for you? Also reflect on how this metaphor may have shown up for you during life or career disruptions or traumatic experiences and times of change. How long did you stay stuck in the wave break zone? What did it feel like for you? What finally prompted you to move deeper beyond the wave break? What did that feel like as well?
Like moving through the turbulent waters in the wave break zone in the ocean, consider how your journey may look different if you accept the discomfort of the transition in your personal and professional lives moving through and beyond the wave break zone. Consider investing in deep self-care, and reframe your perspective, knowing that moving through this transition zone and period you are moving into deeper, calmer waters beyond the wave break where you can ride the waves and momentum of this time of change more easily, bounce forward and thrive.
Say to yourself, "I am moving out of the impact zone. For a long time, the waves crashed over my head and knocked me down. Now, I am swimming past the break, into deeper water where I can finally ride the swells instead of being battered by them." Post-traumatic growth isn't about wishing the ocean was flat. It’s about leaving the chaotic shallows of the shore, pushing through the heavy surf, and finding that deeper place 'outside' where the waves lift you forward. Remind yourself that you are transitioning from surviving the crash to riding the wave.
In the shallows of the wave break at the shore is just surviving, staying safe but stagnant. The crashing shore is disorienting and uncomfortable. But beyond the wave break is where you thrive. You are out in the deep, open water, fully alive, in control of your positioning, and riding the momentum of your own growth. This is where your career and life journey through the change continues forward movement to achieving your goals and living the life you want to write for yourself in the next chapter of your story.
In the next few newsletters, we will break down each phase or wave zone to learn more about what we can do in each zone to help create forward momentum navigating beyond the trauma or significant change event, through the change, and into the deep waters where we can ride the waves, accomplish our goals, bounce forward and thrive. Join me as we continue looking at this analogy of moving beyond the wave break in each phase, because your story is still unfolding and as always, Your Story Matters.