To get to the smoother water, you cannot just stand still; you must actively wade or swim into and through the heavy surf to get past it.

This is the difficult, brave work of therapy, coaching, mentoring, advising, processing grief, and choosing a life transition. It requires immense energy to move forward when the waves are actively hitting you. In this phase, you aren't avoiding the waves. You are actively navigating through them to reach deeper, more stable ground

You’ve left the safety of the shore, and you are actively wading or swimming through the heavy surf. You are doing the hard work, but it is exhausting. You occasionally get pushed back by a wave, and you might feel tempted to turn back to your old life out of sheer fatigue.

●      Your Next Swim Step: You need to fortify your Resilience. This is about strategic pacing, emotional boundaries, and keeping your eyes strictly on the horizon line. You are closer to the deep water than you think. Don’t stop now.

I’m reminded of times in my own life where I was in the wave transition zone. When I left home to join the military at age 20, learning a completely new career, living overseas and experiencing new cultures and unknown and unfamiliar work and personal challenges. When I left the military and entered the commercial industry and got laid off four times in the first six years. When in my mid to late 40’s I suddenly had to go back to university for a degree to continue being employable in an industry I had over 20 years of experience in due to industry changes. Having to constantly reinvent myself and navigate career and life disruptions and major changes. There were times I wanted to stop in the messy middle and not keep going, but I could see a better destination in the distance, trusted myself and found resources to assist and support me during the transition, and I kept on pushing through the wave transition zone knowing and trusting that the deep waters ahead were where I could ride the momentum of the waves of change much easier and thrive.

A reminder, from previous newsletters about post traumatic growth and rebuilding identity post traumatic event, this is the stage where you stop asking:

“How do I go back to who I was before?”

And begin asking:
“Who am I now, and who do I want to become?”

That is the beginning of identity reconstruction and moving through the wave transition zone beyond the wave break.

And it rarely happens all at once. It begins with small internal shifts on your timeline that feels right for you. No rushing or forced positivity here. This is you, supported and empowered by your resources and team behind you, doing the work to move through the messy middle of the wave transition zone at your pace. Some of that work could look like the practical identity rebuilding efforts mentioned in previous newsletters. They are worth repeating here for you while you are in the messy middle:

Here are three simple but powerful practices that help rebuild identity after disruption:

When difficult emotions arise, add the word and.

This builds emotional flexibility.

Because healing is not choosing between pain or hope.

Often, it’s learning how to hold both at the same time.

After major disruption, people often feel stuck because they are measuring themselves against a previous version of their capacity.

So instead of chasing perfection, redefine or shrink the win.

Momentum rarely comes from dramatic leaps.

It comes from small, consistent proof that you are still moving forward.

At the end of the day, ask yourself:

“What mattered today?”

Not:

“What did I accomplish?”

But:

“What mattered?”

That question reconnects you to meaning and purpose, even during difficult seasons.

And meaning is often what helps people keep going when certainty disappears.

An important reminder navigating from the turbulent wave impact zone to push beyond the wave break is that you don’t have to do it alone. While there is work that you must do for yourself in this zone, there are opportunities to look for resources and support to help you with the tools and knowledge you need to successfully navigate through the wave transition zone. As you keep pushing through, remind yourself that you’ve already moved beyond the roughest wave breaks closer to the shoreline. Even though you may still be hit by some waves, the hits don’t feel quite as intense as they did closer shore a short while ago. You are making progress, and you can see the deeper waters are closer to you than before where you can more easily ride the waves of change. Keep moving forward, stopping when you need to catch your breath or find your footing or center yourself, trusting in yourself and those who are there to support you, your metaphoric lifeguards during this time.

Next, we will explore what it looks like once you’ve finally pushed beyond the wave break into the deeper waters and riding the momentum of the waves instead of being battered by them. And in every stage of the journey remember, you are not alone, and even though you may find yourself in a chapter or wave zone you didn’t expect, you have the opportunity to participate in writing the next chapter and moving beyond the wave break into a calmer zone for your life and story, because as always, Your Story Matters.